My friend Sasha not only has an awesome personality, she’s also had some pretty far out experiences with dating over the years. Before Sasha met her husband, she delved into the world of online dating. You won’t believe this wacky story.
They say you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince but they didn’t say that the frogs try their best to disguise themselves as princes!
In July 2012 I was 21, hot off a fresh new break up and ready to mingle. I guess that was my first mistake.
If any of you reading this have been on Facebook long enough, you know that there used to be a dating site called Zoosk that was linked right to your profile. This is where I met Steve.
So Steve was your typical bad boy. Leather jacket, motor bike, shaved head, DJ at an unsavoury establishment; and just what my naïve self thought would be best for me. My weekends were full of partying with friends, karaoke nights, bar hopping, trying new experiences and just living for the NOW.
Steve and I had decided to meet in person after about two weeks of online conversations. We had our first IRL meeting at a club I was at with my friends (gotta stay safe ladies) and all seemed to be perfect.
We hit it off immediately! I had a scooter so we would ride places together. He didn’t mind the helmet hair look I sported more often than not, and life seemed to be going our way.
A few months passed and while packing to help him move, Steve shared with me that he has twins that live with their mother in the US. He said how he missed them and wished he could see them.
Now I felt like we are sharing one of those intimate, relationship building moments. We finally got to his new place and as I was unpacking the first box, I noticed something that looked very much like love letters.
I am not one to snoop, but I’m also not one to shy away from conflict. I took them to him and asked what they were; to which I received a reply, “stuff from my old girlfriend, I need to throw them out.” I was semi satisfied, even though he didn’t throw them away immediately. So I moved on.
Another month went by without any red flags. I met his mom, visited his sisters and slowly felt I was becoming part of this eccentric but loving family. We saw each other during the week and on weekends when we started watching Dexter all the way from season 1. It soon became our dinner tradition. I finally felt myself daydreaming a little about what the future might hold for us.
Fast forward to November, I received a sms asking if I could please help out with his rent payment until he got paid. I thought nothing of it since I got paid on the 25th and he got paid on the last day of the month. After his DJing gig, he popped past my house to collect my credit card. I got the notification of the withdrawal and a goodnight message saying thanks and that he loved me.
Three days went by and I had not heard from him. I also still had not received my credit card back. Starting to worry, I sought advise from my mom who said that I should just contact him and that there was probably nothing to worry about. I eventually called him and a sickly-sweet woman answered the phone, who immediately blurts out: “This is Emily! Stop calling, texting and thinking about Steve! We are engaged and he is done with you.” She hung up the phone.
To say that my blood was BOILING would be putting it lightly. I am a firm believer in monogamy, hate cheaters and would never go through with being unfaithful. Steve knew all of this very well. But here I found myself in a situation where I was the involuntary mistress. I guess cheating is one thing, but being used by BOTH the guy and girl? That was something I had never even imagined.
I texted Steve to please return my bank card along with the money that was used. Also my belongings which were at his house. I very much wanted a clean break from this Days of Our Lives, Bold and the Beautiful type drama and never wanted to speak of what I had just been put through.
Emily was kind enough to see to it that my belongings were returned to me, in a plastic bag, dumped on the side of the road outside my house. Everything was either broken or stolen before I could get to it.
But at least there are no reminders from this time in my life, so that’s my silver lining.
I never heard from Steve again, and I never saw my money either. But a week after this ordeal, the two of them got married and I was tagged in every photo on Facebook. That may have been their way of saying “thanks for funding our wedding” and “this is what your money paid for”. But honestly, they both deserve each other.
Hind sight is definitely 20/20. This is probably the worst I have felt after a break up and it had nothing to do with the fact that I no longer had a boyfriend. I have heard since that they got divorced and am not surprised, what with their relationship blossoming at my expense. Oh well.
But I do have my happy ending to this story! Exactly a year later, I met my now husband and we are going on 4 years strong. I truly found my prince and can look back on stories like this one with gratitude because it led me to the place I needed to be in order to meet the man of my dreams.
So my dating advice to you is this. Where you are now doesn’t determine where you’re going. Things change quickly and no matter how bad things may seem, it’s usually right aroud the corner from something magnificent!