Guys… this one’s for you.
Imagine the fifties for just a minute. Young men treating their dates like ladies. Dressing smart. Opening car doors. Pulling up chairs…
According to a study conducted by Zoosk, chivalry is high on the list of what single women want. The dating app’s data showed that 82% of women still desire old fashioned romance.
But are romance and chivalry dead in today’s dating world? According to the same study, most guys seem to be missing the romantic mark.
So what is true old fashioned romance, and how can you understand what women find romantic?
What is True Romance?
The reason women love romance so much is because it shows effort, expresses care and cannot be easily faked.
If you can grasp these 3 aspects of romance, you’ll begin to understand the essence behind AUTHENTIC romance—and your gestures will start to have more meaning.
True Romance Shows Effort
Romance always trumps monetary gifts because it goes deeper than simply buying something. Paying for dinner, buying gifts, treating her to a movie… all those things are great. But real romance shows effort.
Any guy who’s ever carved names in a tree knows it’s not as easy as it looks. It takes time, care and effort. Finding her favorite childhood book may take you hours, but it’s worth seeing that smile on her face when you give it to her, right?
That’s true romance. Putting effort into a gift or a gesture shows that you are willing to put time and effort into your relationship too.
True Romance Expresses Care
According to Zoosk’s helpful study on romance, being kind and caring are qualities most women want in a man. Expressing care can be done in multiple ways. Here’s a good example.
Instead of spending a small fortune on a fancy dinner, ask if you can borrow her car. Take it in for a carwash, an oil change and perhaps even a fuel top up. Making the effort to make her life easier speaks volumes about how much you care about her safety & convenience.
It Cannot Be Faked
Here’s the thing about romance that makes it so rare. If your intentions are true, they will show in your gestures. It’s difficult to fake romance, because it requires deep thought and is usually motivated by authentic love.
In the same way, a lack of romance shows a lack of interest. And that’s certainly not the message you want your lady to get!
So let’s look at 7 romantic gestures that seem to be extinct, and how we can bring them back?
1. Opening Her Car Door
Here’s a troubling fact. About 90% of the time I’ve opened a car door for a woman she’s acted surprised and told me that I’m the first guy to ever do that for her. This indicates (admittedly from my own personal experience) that guys are dropping the ball in this department.
Opening a car door for a lady is more than just an old fashioned gesture. It shows that you care about her safety, and that you want her to be comfortable while she is with you.
Let’s bring this one back, shall we?
2. Romantic Walks
Walking with your girl may not seem that romantic at first. But it does give you a bunch of smaller opportunities to be SUPER romantic.
A friend of mine once took his fiancé for a walk on the beach. He picked up a smooth stone they found in the water and made a joke, “Hey, this is the first stone we’ve adopted as a couple.” She thought it was weird, gave a little giggle and didn’t question the fact that he had pocketed the stone.
A week later he gave her the stone back. Their names were engraved on the stone with two linked rings in between.
Here was a guy who had been with her for 4 years, and he still found ways to make her feel special.
3. Love Letters
If there’s one romantic gesture that takes effort, it’s writing a letter. Most guys run away from the idea of writing a letter, and yet it is one of the most coveted romantic gestures among women.
Because a letter gives your lady an opportunity to get inside your head a little. Men can be closed off. They can seem distant at times—even aloof. But a well thought out letter reconnects the intimacy in your relationship.
If you’re void of ideas on what you could include in your letter, here are some ideas:
- Mention something recent she did that you really admired or appreciated
- Mention a physical feature you love about her in a flirtatious way
- Mention how having her has enriched your life in some particular way
The point is to get fairly personal with your lady. That’s why women love receiving a letter so much, because it allows them a deeper look into who you are and how you think. And that’s pretty sexy.
4. Cooking for Her
A home cooked meal encompasses all three aspects of true romance. It takes effort, it shows care and it cannot be faked.
Most men resort to takeout or pizza delivery while dating a girl. While this is not wrong in itself, it does miss an important opportunity to be romantic.
Your lady needs to eat. Chances are she enjoys eating. A home cooked meal is a healthier option than junk food, and will display a level of care that will impress her (not to mention your skills as a cook).
But What If I Can’t Cook?
Don’t let your mind get bogged down on the cooking itself. You can show your care in similar ways that don’t require any Gordon Ramsay culinary skills. Surprising her with a cup of herbal tea. Packing in her favorite sandwich for work. These are little things you can do to show her you care.
5. Sentimental Gifts
When I really like someone, I like to spend money on them. But most women aren’t as easily impressed by high price gifts as they are by well thought out gifts. Spending money can easily become a copout. So think further than expensive gifts.
A gift doesn’t have to cost you much—if anything at all. Remember my friend and his romantic stone? The stone was free. And the cost for having it carved was negligible. But I have no doubt that this gift was his fiancé’s favorite trinket from him.
Buying flowers is always a romantic idea. But make it more romantic by snipping off one of the flowers before she throws them away. Press it in a book and give her a dried flower bookmark a week later so that she never forgets that particular bunch of flowers.
See? It’s the little things. She’ll love the flowers, but trust me; she’ll love the bookmark more.
6. Love Notes
If you’re planning on using that sandwich idea, don’t close her lunch box without adding a little note. Surprise love notes are awesome when they’re witty, flirtatious and funny.
Hide one under her pillow. In a book she’s reading. Or leave it next to her coffee before you leave for work. These little surprises will more than make her day. So put some thought into it and leave her a love note once in a while. This romantic gesture should never go out of fashion.
7. Fire FTW!
Zoosk’s study also reported something very interesting. 75% of women mentioned that they find home fires romantic. A romantic snuggle in front of a fire received the highest number of thumbs up from single women on the dating app.
So why do women love home fires so much?
Think about it:
- It’s intimate. Women respond positively to non-sexual touch because it makes them feel safe, loved and secure.
- It makes space for conversation. The best chats are had around fires, and your lady loves conversing with you.
- It’s atmospheric. A fireplace snuggle creates a comfortable, warm and serene atmosphere. If she falls asleep in your arms, consider the date a huge success!
Be that Guy Who Treats Her Well
So which of these old fashioned romantic gestures will you bring back first? I’d love to hear your comments on how it went, so share away.
And as always, thanks for reading.